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1
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2
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- People motivate themselves to change by exploring and resolving their ambivalence
to change.
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3
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- Expressing empathy
- Develop discrepancy between the way things are and the way they want
them to be
- Rolling with resistance
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4
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- Elaboration –
- ask for lots of detail
- use open ended questions
- Summarize with uncertainty
- Scaling –
- 1-10 importance of change
- 1-10 confidence they can change
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5
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- What’s the worst case scenario if you:
- Stayed the same
- Tried to change and failed
- Tried to change and made some changes
- Looking back
- How did you deal with it before
- What was life like before this problem
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6
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- Looking forward –
- What would life be like if you didn’t have this problem?
- Looking for exceptions –
- Look for strengths. When the
problem is manageable what do you do to make it manageable? What is it like when the problem
isn’t as stressing?
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7
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- Exploring goals – what’s the most important in your life?
- Do pros & cons for change
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8
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- Approach the interview like two people
sitting side by side looking at a photo album – asking questions
and commenting
- The client must feel that you care but that you respect their right to
choose how and when they will change.
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9
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- Therapists often feel that this is not enough – “I know what’s right for
you and I want you to follow my direction”. This is called “the Righting
Reflex”. Remember for “every
action there is an equal and opposite reaction”.
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10
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- Offer a menu of options instead. Ask
permission before you offer the menu of options.
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11
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- Use “reflective listening” – selectively emphasizing some of the
client’s ideas while ignoring others.
- Move the client towards change with reflection. Skillful counselors use 2 reflections
for every question (open-ended) asked.
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12
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- Confront
- Act like an expert
- Label
- Blame
- Focus too soon
- Take sides on client’s ambivalence
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13
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- Argument
- Interruption
- Denial
- Playing stupid
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14
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- Respond to resistance with non-resistance – recognize the client’s
disagreement
- Amplify the reflection – reflect back what the client has said in an
amplified or exaggerated way
- Reflect back both sides of the ambivalence
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15
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- Shift focus away from “stumbling block”
- Agreeing with a twist –
- Client: nobody can tell me how
to raise my kids
- Therapist: you’re right – you
are in the best position to know what is right for your kids. You need to be a full partner in this
process.
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16
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- Coming alongside – if client is resistant to change, the counselor
recommends that the client should continue on as before, without
changing or should even increase the behavior in question
- Make the client the therapist – “I’ll take the side of the resisting
change and you try to convince me to change”.
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17
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- “I want to, but I don’t want to”.
- High functioning, people with a lot of support and resources can afford
to make change quickly.
- Why – because if some unexpected, negative consequence of change occurs,
they can use their resources to correct it.
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18
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- Low functioning, isolated, people with few resources need to approach
change very cautiously – if they have an unexpected, negative
consequence, the repercussions can be immense.
- Respect your clients’ ambivalence.
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19
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